Love Never Dies. Chapter Ten. Tale of One Friends Marriage. Autumn.

Evidently Amanda spent more like 5 days in a mental health facility and the incident largely contributed to her not being granted custody of her children with rather limited visitation. Autumn finally has read my blog. She will be comforted if I again reiterate that this is a story, actually will be a series of stories, based on actual events but not a documentary and entirely factual. It certainly is all from my perception. I wouldn't be able to pick out Amanda in a crowd. I've never even seen a picture of her, let alone met her. It's been over a decade since I've seen Dave. According to Autumn he has aged a lot and is very heavy. Note, according to Autumn. That is all I have to run with, the comments of the hateful ex-wife.  My overall objectives here are looking at various relationships, the trials and tribulations of them. We all learn from each other,  whether things to emulate or that we would never want to copy ourselves.

It took Autumn 4 1/2 years after she returned to leave Dave again. She moved into an apartment fairly near the family home. She is still living there now. She hired a divorce attorney that seemed like a dream; just too good to be true. She said things like "as long as you keep paying your $500 a month payment we will work with you for as long as it takes to your balance paid off." Now, I am once again only suggesting $500 is the number and I am fairly sure I am about spot on; in fact it might have initially been lower. I don't recall if there was some initial lump sum. But there was also no written agreement between Autumn and her counsel. That is simply bad business practice in any business. Of course, as the case became more intense, the office began to push for more money, Autumn felt more pressure at a very difficult time, not to mention only had her parents to turn to, which she had continually, and she began to dig her heels. This attorney did get Autumn to win majority custody (I don't remember exact arrangements other than they basically lived with her but attended same schools where they had in "family home" district and would go there at least after if not before/after school as well as on weekends, some holidays, etc) and a negotiated child support that was twice was Autumn was initially anticipating. But the tension over payments led her attorney to drop Autumn as a client right as the divorce was about to come to trial. There were fine lines on whether this could even be done. But, when her attorney wrote Autumn and said "unfortunate for you, slavery was abolished many years ago..." I knew she needed to run. Racism comes from all sides and such blatant white privileged bitch push back on a client who is literally fighting for her children and own survival of a far simpler middle class existence than your own is nothing short of wrong. While I felt Autumn might be taking on a futile battle at the time, she filed complaints with proper channels (I say it this way as I don't recall exactly if the state Bar, who else) and simply about her not having a proper contract and the things she knew could exhaust her of the $4000 or $5000 balance the attorney claimed to have and to have a registered complaint on her record. Autumn prevailed.

She then hired this attorney which the image in my head is of a not overly in shape, well groomed, disheveled in general man who isn't well prepared and certainly isn't quick on his feet for the unexpected. By the time Dave and Autumn's divorce finally came to trial, Autumn had all the evidence of the relationship from the private investigators, as well as depositions from Dave, Amanda and Jerry and none of it was used. I might understand that the component of adultery at this point wasn't a road to travel, but what about being good role models, responsible parents? I realize I may not have painted Autumn in the best of the lights throughout this blog, but overall she has been nothing but doing all she can to do the best for her children. Her children do love and respect her. While admittedly bias, I am not confident the same is entirely true with their Father, especially now.

The trial still doesn't make any sense to most anyone of us on the outside. Here are some of the bullets I remember:

• Dave said Autumn tried to bail on family moving to CA. Judge didn't buy it. She was there 2 weeks, made no effort to settle in CA.
• Dave made some argument that Autumn career was unstable. I don't recall overall here but while some legitimate conversation, Autumn went back to school, reinvented herself, changed from a job in DC to a government job in Annapolis to be closer to kids where she was when trial occurred. 
• Dave noted that youngest was caught smoking pot and Autumn wasn't strict enough. Judge did seem bothered by this.
• Children were questioned by Judge. They said they'd rather live with Mother. Judge said they were lying. The kids were 13 and 15.

The Judge ruled to overturn the earlier Judge ruling and grant primary custody to Autumn. Autumn would now pay child support. The judge also ruled that Dave would not have to pay the arrears of over $12,000 that was owed to Autumn in back support, something that was later overturned in appeal. Autumn was beyond devastated. Her children perhaps as much or more. While necessary, often overdue when it happens (Autumn and Dave only took 10 years on and off never might waiting) nobody "wins" in a divorce.