Posts

Showing posts with the label gay

Los Angeles. Love/Hate Relationship. SPECIAL SERIES: A Tale of Two Cities. 2021. Part 8. Signs of Life in LA.

Image
Hamburger Mary's I was at Hamburger Mary's in Long Beach Sunday at a 4:00 PM over Memorial Day weekend for a drag show and "linner" or early dinner. Every show earlier was booked, affirming that we all needed to get out of our homes! My cousin's best friend Matt (and if I look at this logically it's my cousin who has been one of my closest friends since teen years, daughter's best friend) and his boyfriend joined us. His boyfriend who is charming, attractive and not quite 21. I was having a conversation, most of which was drowned out by very loud music, with someone who might have parents younger than me. I like to think of myself, and am often affirmed to be perceived as, younger physically. Even when one knows my age (52), I work hard to relate across generations but this might have easily become more awkward for us both if not interrupted by loud entertainment. I say that and I also realize that it's really me that seems to worry or be bothered. Non...

Los Angeles. Love/Hate Relationship. SPECIAL SERIES: A Tale of Two Cities. 2021. Part 5. Overly restrictive California and the losses to the LGBT community.

Image
The Gold Coast, which some referred to as "God's waiting room", opened in 1981 at the corner of Santa Monica Boulevard and La Jolla, across from the infamous Circus of Books Store which has been there since 1960 and created the home of the Vaseline Alley behind the store. It was a classic "dive" bar and attracted a wide-net audience. It was the home of the Red dress party which started as a vow between 2 bartenders, Mark Ferguson and Yves-Claude, with proceeds going to Life Group LA. I've spent time at the Gold Coast at 2 PM and left at 2 AM. While not a regular hangout of mine, it certainly was always a safety net, a piece of West Hollywood that was comfortable to go to when I just wanted to pop in for a drink or even sometimes just use the bathroom. It wasn't pretentious, the drinks were less expensive than most everywhere else in WeHo. there was something comforting that it was just off the path of the epicenter of Boystown, yet only blocks away from...

Los Angeles. Love/Hate Relationship. SPECIAL SERIES: A Tale of Two Cities. 2021. Part 4. Atlanta vs Georgia.

Image
I first started hearing about Atlanta as a child in the late early 1980s. Our neighbors in Michigan moved to some place called Dunwoody. A place I am quite familiar with now and imagine was significantly smaller back in the day. I recall they built a home and were overwhelmed with the amount of natural wood used inside on trim and such and the attention to detail the builder put into satisfying their desires. Mr. Riley proclaimed something like “if you don’t like the moldings, they just rip them out and start over” - I don’t think they would find that as easily to be the case today. They also might be scraping into Dunwoody now, not building a custom home from West Bloomfield today. West Bloomfield and Dunwoody are somewhat similar in both being more affluent suburbs. According to Zillow, however, the average home price in Dunwoody is $502,716 and West Bloomfield the average is $348,508.  While West Bloomfield definitely did grow from the time the Rileys left and when my family lef...

Los Angeles. Love/Hate Relationship. Part 4 of series.

Image
Be sure you have read  Los Angeles. Love/Hate. Part 3  ,  Los Angeles. Love/Hate. Part 2  , and  Los Angeles. Love/Hate. Part 1  prior to reading this post... My ex, Bart, and I, along with our 2 cats, Chloe and Zuma, loaded up my roughly 8 year old Volvo 740 station wagon, which I had recently bought from my stepmother, and drove from Capitol Hill in Washington, DC and headed to West Hollywood. We left right after Christmas planning to arrive in West Hollywood for New Years Day 1997. Bart had bought me this stuffed Energizer Bunny for Christmas so we took it along the way and took pictures of it at given destinations on our journey. Mind you, we didn't have smart phones, but film cameras, so we only took so many and not all were worthy of keeping. Not to mention, I was a little overzealous spring cleaning a year or so ago.   We went through parts of Shenandoah National Park crossing through Virginia. We drove to, but didn't go into Dollywood (I wasn't...

Los Angeles. Love/hate relationship. Part 2 of series

Image
Los Angeles had been beaten and battered in the few years leading up to my arrival. Starting in 1991, the Los Angeles basin shed over 200,000 jobs, primarily in the aerospace industry. Military bases were closed throughout Southern California. I've later learned much more about how this largely changed Southern California's "landscape" and diminished our middle class. The  Northridge earthquake of 1994  was one of the most costly natural disasters in US history.  I remember watching coverage on television. While there are cracks and shifts in buildings from the earthquake to this day and I remember noting some minor damage on trips to LA in 1996 prior to my moving, in reflection I have to say it was amazing how quickly things overall were repaired. But, it's impact did contribute to people leaving the region and a decline in prices. The earthquake occurred less than 2 years following the  1992 Los Angeles riots , which arguably was far more devastating to ...

Designer Jeans. Richie, David & Andy. Part 3 in a series.

Image
Designer jeans started to become a fad - which has evolved into a mainstay of American fashion to this day - starting around when I was in 3rd grade. Gloria Vanderbilt  was the pioneer of the industry, creating a line of denim jeans for women bearing her signature on the back right pocket and a swan on the front right pocket. The audience targer for these jeans were geared towards women, not girls. So people like my teachers and Mother. At this point, I don't think my Mother even owned a pair of denim anything. My Father had always looked at jeans as something for farm workers and other "laborers." Some of our teachers did get pairs, but to this point, the idea of jeans on a teacher at school was definitely not part of the dress code. I think Mrs. Edwards, our school Librarian, might have led the "charge for change" and been the first to take that leap and wear designer jeans to work. Keep in mind that women wearing pants was relatively new in the work pla...

Early Days. Richie, David and Andy. Part 2 of a series.

Image
Before or even after (in this case) this post, read  My First Text Book on how it is done . Before moving forward with my early pubescent stories with my buds, I should take a step back and give you at least the simple basics of how we all came 'together' initially. All of us had attended Green Elementary School and at this point were in 6th grade at Orchard Lake Middle School. Richie lived on the same street, Andy was two houses up on the adjacent street and David lived in the same subdivision. He was much closer to the middle school and far further from the elementary school where Richie, Andy and I had walked to daily. Richie was literally a few houses and a crossing guard away. Andy and I had a brief walk. My Mother picked our house in part so she could watch me through the kitchen window walk to school to give some reference. I don't honestly know if David did or not walk to Green. It seems a bit far at that age. But, it was a different era so parents were much more ...

Los Angeles. Love/hate relationship. Part 1 of series

I was on the phone with someone at USAA about my insurance and he asked me "how do you like L.A.?" Noting his genuine curiosity, I paused for a moment. I responded "it's a perfect place to have a love/hate relationship with; if you have never been, you should come." I gave an explanation of how it was vast and amazingly different than most anywhere else, but hard to get around, expensive but you at least most often convinced yourself worth it, and usually the weather is amazing. I have lived here most of my adult life, with brief times in the city of Riverside (the Inland Empire a large extension of L.A.) and the Coachella Valley (Palm Springs), a nearby getaway. A friend of mine from Berlin whom I have known some 30 years said to me years ago visiting me that L.A. was "one of the most unique cities in the world." I don't think that it was his first trip to L.A. when he said this to me. He has been back multiple times and repeated it since and he...

My first text book on how it is done. Richie, David and Andy. Part 1 of series

Image
My parents had a lot of really nice furniture. My Mother would leave a room empty for as long as 2 years to save for what she really wanted to own. She died with most of those "prized" pieces of furniture that became part of my home in childhood. Such a different era. My Dad had a cabinet in his den that in retrospect I kind of wish I had now. It was a really nice piece of furniture. The top and sides were I want to say dark walnut. The front had a door with a woven raised walnut (assuming I have the right wood) front between a 2-3" black/dark brown crossed pattern on each side. I think there was something hand-carved in the middle as well. It had one of those old locks with a key like from "Colonial" times yet there was nothing colonial about the piece. The television in the den sat on top of that cabinet, one more reason it was a focal point. Around 12, in sixth grade, I became scarily curious about most everything. What is under the TV I wondered?...

Tony. Incognito. #1

To get the most of this blog entry, you really need to first read:  Someone homeless in your house ,  Tony's first days back... Read the messages in reverse as they are Tony's replies to my messages. Tony went incognito from the time we returned from our trip last November until right around the beginning of spring. We had some exchanges online in the interim. Below are copied messages with his and my screenames removed along with anything else that would be too personal and not relevant. November 24, 2019 Tony: just gearing up to move to a tribal reservation , when are u free ~~~~~~~~~ (Robert-me) wrote: What is up with you? What has you so busy? When are we going to see you next? Did you get my email? Robert and Mac December 4, 2019 & December 10, 2019 Tony: hi i have no idea what that could be? i have a new.cell tho can u forward me ur number ~~~~~~~~~ (Robert-me) wrote: I sent a text message as well, but not sure if you are receiving them. You receiv...

AIDS 1. Being a Junior. The Poconos. No room at the Inn. Two lives continue.

Image
I don't even recall exactly how Laura and I rented a cabin in the Poconos, though I had a failsafe fake ID and a credit card. My parents seemed to most of the time allow me to do most things without much concern, even at 17 years old and still in high school. Laura came up from Toms River and we traveled some 75 miles or more into the Poconos in Pennsylvania. My close friend Steve in Baltimore whom I knew from the beach (in DelMarVa they refer to "the beach" while "down the shore" is purely a "Jersey thing") at the Sea Colony and his Catholic School buds were coming to the Poconos on a school trip and I was determined we would all be there. We met on February 1, 1986 or perhaps it was the Friday evening prior, January 31 which would be logical. (I only know this because I wrote it on the back of photos. I hardly have that good of memory!) Laura & Steve We all had a great time, to my best recollection, but I had to get them back to...

AIDS 1. Summer 1986. (Between Junior & Senior Year) Part Two Continued. In Liberty & Reality. Mostly photos & media.

Image
This will not mean much unless you first read: Summer 1986. Part Two. In Liberty & Reality The lower right photo shows 2 bad decisions on my part. A horrible perm and smoking. I first started smoking as a freshman in Cross Country when my friend and I would sneak into the woods and smoke during a run. A few of us also tried chewing tobacco while cycling in the same period. Difference then, at my private school, they simply had designated smoking areas for students. We were told it was bad, not that we couldn't under any circumstance. Meanwhile, the video below was being shown during the school year in NYC public schools. It most definitely was not in the Morris School District.

AIDS 1- Summer 1986. (Between Junior & Senior Year). Part Two. In Liberty and Reality. Two Lives Continue

Image
Please also read: Summer 1986. Piers & The Cure. Being a Junior Along with any and all other the rest of my posts. I greatly welcome your feedback. Post anonymously, that is more than fine. I would love to hear from you!  -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Statue of Liberty was given to the United States as a gift from France in 1886.  Liberty Weekend , the 100th anniversary, was to be a spectacular weekend and I must say, while I was incredibly fortunate in my circumstances throughout that weekend, I have never had any other experience yet that left quite such an indelible impression. New York and New Jersey were in a turf war starting before I moved to the East Coast in 1985 with New Jersey claiming that Liberty Island was actually in New Jersey waters. They ultimately lost this war and as huge an advocate as I am for New Jersey, this one was bullshit. New York made ...

AIDS 1-Senior Year. Part One. Two lives continue.

Image
If you have not yet read, please go back to  AIDS 1-Being a Junior  and read prior to this entry. Since I had moved to Morristown, New Jersey I was living two lives, in two ways. There was Robert the suburban high school student with a girlfriend down the shore and simultaneously Robert the closeted gay man and in many ways a recent arrival to New York City. Most people around my neighborhood at that time lived and worked in New Jersey and went into the city at best a few times a year for a play, for a concert or game. They might once or twice go in the course of a decade to a museum. I was there almost every weekend and any other time I could find a chance. My Father was initially commuting into the city everyday. I had to use bridges and tunnels, I was a not a bridge and tunnel boy. I was sneaking off into Manhattan on a fairly frequent basis and going to happy hours at Uncle Charlie's and popping into Julius in Greenwich Village; sometimes, well, often, that leading t...