Los Angeles. Love/Hate Relationship. SPECIAL SERIES: A Tale of Two Cities. 2021. Part 8. Signs of Life in LA.

Hamburger Mary's

I was at Hamburger Mary's in Long Beach Sunday at a 4:00 PM over Memorial Day weekend for a drag show and "linner" or early dinner. Every show earlier was booked, affirming that we all needed to get out of our homes! My cousin's best friend Matt (and if I look at this logically it's my cousin who has been one of my closest friends since teen years, daughter's best friend) and his boyfriend joined us. His boyfriend who is charming, attractive and not quite 21. I was having a conversation, most of which was drowned out by very loud music, with someone who might have parents younger than me. I like to think of myself, and am often affirmed to be perceived as, younger physically. Even when one knows my age (52), I work hard to relate across generations but this might have easily become more awkward for us both if not interrupted by loud entertainment. I say that and I also realize that it's really me that seems to worry or be bothered. None of the many younger people who I socialize with seem to care at all. I do believe it is likely his first drag show and if I introduced that alone, I've continued my role as a gay mentor. He seemed quite amused. 

Matt recently finished his Masters degree, giving us one reason to celebrate. They were also celebrating their one year anniversary which was simply awkward in that we had not seen Matt in probably 18 months, with life and the pandemic. So now, he has a boyfriend for a year and other than a few photos on Facebook we still know nothing about him. I made the presumption that neither had been to Hamburger Mary's, so I wanted to make sure to get great seats. They don't really use the stage, but rather the floor below it and we were the prime table center left of the improvised stage. 

I am not sure who or when they decided that the sound system at this relatively small restaurant needs to produce volume for the Staples Center but they might revisit it before they have have an entire staff in hearing aids and patrons who can no longer attend as they can't hear the show any longer. Sort of a different take on " the day the music died and she was singing, bye, bye Miss American pie..."

The original Hamburger Mary's in San Francisco is but a memory. They franchised years ago and some have made it work, others failed miserably. This one seems to have everything working right. It's on Pine Avenue in Long Beach which is a nightlife and shopping epicenter. While largely an LGBT establishment, it attracts many others being both a "burger joint" and having things like drag shows and drinks in plastic legs. The burgers are usually very good, the rest of their food is mediocre to crap and their drinks look fun but often are not all that you think you are getting. I had a $26 Long Island ice tea leg cocktail that was so full of ice and watered down that by the end of the meal my sober husband was more out of it (from the constant loud music) than myself. 

There are some good things that have come from COVID. We can all use a bit more hand sanitizer around in our lives and even if we don't want to admit it, few, if any of us, washed our hands enough and just watching in the men's room, guys are generally paying more attention which leads me to know women are even more so. The baskets on poles that drag queens are now using for collecting tips, much like an offering in some churches, is more efficient and less invasive for those donors who might be a bit more shy. Sometimes it's just safer. I've seen some show collisions over the years when happy bubbly drinking queens collide with heel-wearing singing ones and literally paramedics end up as the leading act. 

We enjoyed the show and brought Matt a couple of gifts. The first were some drag clothing that were "leftover" items we had from one of the only times my husband, Mac and I had done drag a few years earlier for a Halloween party. I will say I had a fabulous dress that had only been worn once that I found new at Goodwill so I was glad to see someone was going to use it again. Mac had these 2 very silly hats. Matt pulled them out of the bag and tried both of them on without any thought and great pride. Mind you we are in a room full of drag queens, but I still could see the generational difference. Mac and I later discussed that it was "mission accomplished." I certainly don't ever, to this day, feel 100% confident in being so openly expressive. I am not overly flamboyant in my personality at this point in my life, but I admit it is also because I've become more cautious with age. Perhaps in part after being almost killed in an unexpected incident in Riverside, CA in 2005. That is for another story, but still in this century, still in California. Now that just made me a Debbie Downer...

We also gave Matt a book from a former professor at the University of La Verne, Carol Roberts, who is extended family of Mac's and in turn, my own. She wrote a book The Dissertation Journey: A practical & comprehensive guide to planning, writing and defending your dissertation. She gave it to us to give to him as she was retiring and relocating to Florida pre-Covid when Matt was roughly just starting his Master's degree work at La Verne. She already had him lined up for his PHD. As it turns out, it does sound like she is correct. I will learn more when we next get together and I can hear the conversation but he and Mac talked some about his dissertation plans. 

After the show was over and we were leaving, we did have a conversation about masks. Like many, Matt was amazed to find out that California was the only state that still had a mask mandate in place. He asked about New York, Massachusetts? "Nope" I replied, "nor New Jersey, which was the 2nd most impacted after New York. They are all mask free this Memorial Day weekend." We get outside and I immediately take my mask off explaining I refuse to wear one outside after not only the CDC but multiple other studies show that wearing a mask outside is actually unhealthy. "Think about it," I said. "Why are they always telling you to increase circulation, bring in outside air to help reduce the spread?" I then went on to explain something about your nose needing to cleanse itself. They took their masks off as well and we all did our hugs goodbye.

Energized (and realizing I should have used the bathroom before we left), I suggest to Mac that we go take a trip down Broadway and visit one of the gay bars before leaving Long Beach. We are both quite impressed by the amount of new construction in Downtown Long Beach. Most of it is residential, which is desperately needed all over Southern CA. Many would argue it is not "affordable housing" but  I am from the camp that one way to make housing more affordable is to build more and more of it. Affordable housing is the greatest problem in California, causing our greatest shame, our homeless pandemic. Damn, there is Debbie rearing her head again. I'm too damn serious for my own good...

After spending 5 minutes driving there and easily 20 minutes looking for parking (someday, Long Beach should figure out where to put a parking lot in that neighborhood), we finally make a stop at the Mineshaft. It was packed, inside and out. No social distancing, no masks. Normally, pandemic or not, we'd likely find this too crowded to want to stay. But today, I was like rub against me, push into me, knock me over, I don't care! I had not been around this many men in one space in 18 months! That said, while Mac went to the restroom, I ordered a drink for myself and a soft drink for him and found 2 barstools at the far end of the bar away from everyone else. We talked to another couple for a bit watching the masses fend for themselves and by the time I was done with my cocktail, the thrill was over. 

Mineshaft. View from our corner of the bar.

We preceded home following.