Back to Kavanaugh for a moment. It's hard as hell to remember, yet some things never leave your mind...

Most recently, I've been writing almost exclusively on my junior and senior years of high school. While laws and in turn, parents, were more permissive, my experiences were not the ordinary; good, bad and otherwise up for discussion. The 80s were all about excess and our generation probably screwed it up for future ones, or saved you, depending on how you look at it.

There were a great deal of questions about testimony given and statements during the hearings... I thought it was highly questionable then, all the more now, that most people remember without a doubt who attended a high school party 30 years ago, let alone what might have gone on in a bedroom they were not in at the time. I do believe and have had experiences where certain things stand clearly in my mind. If you read Being a Junior, I remember that the guy that entered my bathroom stall had a classic London Fog or similar rain coat and black or dark brown curly hair. I remember I had a patchwork patterned sweater with vivid colors and want to say it was not wool but cotton or some combined material. I remember his throwing up on me vividly. He fled, I was verging on sick myself and ran to the sink to try and clean off. I also ran to the front desk for them to call the police. They resisted at first and I created a big scene. I vaguely think they tried to remove me from the front by force and I kept kicking the glass doors. I got my way. But to ask me to go into more details, it was 1985 and I was underage and drunk having being attempted to be sexually molested in one of the finest new hotels in NYC at the time. But, something seems to tell me I also might have invited it? Not that that makes it right, but still the same.

I remember that I was given all the guy's information, including his license or ID # and address. I want to say he lived on the Upper East Side or was it the Upper West Side? It was an impressive address north of Midtown. I, of course, did nothing. How and why would I? I don't recall the exact ending conversation, but suffice to say I have never been to that hotel lobby again.

In that same piece, I had to go back and correct myself as I originally thought I met my girlfriend of nearly 3 years after my junior year, but, in fact it was going into my junior year and as I was moving to New Jersey which is all the more relevant in terms of living "two lives." It was the stamp they used to put on photos of when it was printed that corrected me. If you have been reading and otherwise I encourage you to enjoy the journey to which I keep adding stories, by reading: Being a Junior, Summer 1986 Part One, Summer 1986 Part Two and continue into the stories leading through my senior year and into the summer of 1987. You will easily note that Laura was a very important part of my life. So, of course, you'd think I could recall the day I met her. Nope. I know where, at least where we basically were, and that her friend was with her and we were all on summer vacation. It was 35 years ago. Also read Talking Brett Kavanaugh in therapy as it isn't in the "series" per se but about the same period.

In my post No Room at the Inn. Poconos I remember my friend, but I don't recall the names of the other two guys in those photos. I do recall kind of secretly crushing on the one, though, albeit while with my girlfriend and one of my best friends at the time. I think I know which school they went to, though that is more information than I would share anyway for their own privacy, albeit again 35 years ago and it did happen. Again, the exact dates on that are literally because I wrote them on the back of the photos.

The group photo I have in my post Down the Shore, I remember it being taken, remember feeling really popular for a minute and a half (which I was not most of high school) and I pretty much know where; meaning it was during summer vacation at The Sea Colony in Bethany Beach, DE and I am almost positive in whatever the name is of the largest high-rise in the middle. But I look at the people and I remember one by name and I stayed in touched with her for a while after, so perhaps that is why. I have (or had, I tossed a lot this year) pictures of just her from that summer. Perhaps I was quietly crushing on her? Living two lives... I just now remember the name of this girl I was thinking about for ages writing this blog. She lived in Pikesville, Maryland, north of Baltimore and she gave me a blow job on the beach late one night. Then she proceeded to cry about her alcoholic sister while she was very drunk (as was I). I don't think I recall her in that photo though. It may have not even been the same summer.

When I watched the Kavanaugh hearings I had a lot of mixed emotions. It is hard for me to believe that Dr. Christine Blasey Ford arbitrarily mistook Brett Kavanaugh for someone else. Just as her description of the room and the furniture was very detailed. I recall that man's coat, I recall my sweater I was wearing. I didn't write it into the piece but I seem to recall my friend who I had gone to the Tears for Fears concert, Kevin, was dressed more for a concert in the time and had combat boots on and possibly even ripped jeans. I am not sure we could only get a drink in the lobby bar or something as dress codes were more restrictive then. Notice though it gets more vague as it is less important, significant. That said, insignificant things will be ingrained in your head when significant, like the furniture in the room or the coat he was wearing. This can be true when they are great as well.

I used to have calendars, just like Brett, back in the day. We didn't have smartphones to track our lives. There was no Instagram, Twitter or Facebook or anything else like today. Now, I largely track my life through albums and other posts on social media and my husband and I to "record" most everything we do in a google calendar that we share between us. Brett is four years older than me (which makes me feel good - I look way younger), is married, has children and this long, impressive law career leading him to the Supreme Court. He kept his high school calendars? He has always had a base in DC Metro, so perhaps they just sat in box somewhere, but really? I have a very hard time believing that people who sent letters saying they never saw or knew Christine, etc. all really can recall. I couldn't begin to tell you about every high school party I ever went to, let alone remember who was there. I am writing about those things in that period that stand out to me. Those which in many cases are unique, certainly not common, make for an interesting story and perhaps are sometimes insightful.

I could delve into how Dr. Ford was railroaded with our current divisive, authoritarian leaning politics. But, that sentence alone might tell you plenty.