Love Never Dies. Chapter Six. Tale of One Friends Marriage. Autumn.
It was fall when Autumn arrived at LAX. Autumn's life was a complete trainwreck now without her job there. She had now worked for the only 2 contractors in her specific field, so prospects were limited. I don't know where/how she could apply them elsewhere. I am sure there were probably some stones upturned. I knew that things with her and Dave were horridly toxic and it wasn't good for her or her children. I knew her side income was something that beyond disturbing and potentially leave her easily divorced, but without her children and in prison, albeit it stopped on it's own with the boy toy break up. I pondered and my husband, with great reservation (he is far more level headed generally) offered to have her come move out to LA; at least try to see if it could work. My theory was quality time with her children could be better than what she had been doing with less than 48 hours back and forth over the last year. Autumn and I talked a bunch of scenarios, but the ultimate was having the kids at either winter or spring break, most if not all of the summer and she could go there a couple times a year. In hindsight, this wasn't my best advice, but then again, I made the mistake of immersing myself too much into others issues.
She arrived and was so excited by the weather. It was just another day in LA. OK, we are spoiled. Her excitement, though, to me, was that of a teenager, not a parent near 40 years old. She arrived and my hope had been she was going to be looking forward to finally having the opportunity to try and live dreams of finding a way to be a writer, to perhaps become a therapist which is what she studied. But, from the airport to the days to come, every conversation she has with all she encountered, all of which of course, asked "what brought you here?" was answered with "the weather." I do also believe some of this was also nervous energy knowing she was not sure of what she had just done.
Keep in mind, Autumn didn't rescind a passport (CA can seem like another planet and we are the 5th largest economy in the world, but it's still in the US), didn't change a drivers license. In fact, I remember she made sure to have her absentee voter registration come to our address from where she lived without Dave and did not plan to change the address before the election. I think from the moment she booked her plane ticket she had trepidation.
My husband and I were leaving for New York City, then a cruise within a couple days of Autumn's arrival. During the cruise, the Autumn was to help me with my business on some political campaign work I was doing. She did the minimal amount she needed to do, critical of it along the way. In fairness, they were not the most exciting of campaigns, but she also need not be anything but grateful that we had given her a place to say and a hand up. It wasn't a lot of work either. Show up, smile, sign people in, scan sheets and data enter them following. Perhaps I left here a couple other things to do.She was also to start going around, getting a feel for different areas in LA, places she might want to live, work, etc. The plan was never that she was staying with us long-term. Ultimately, she spent most of the 10 days working on her tan and going to yoga classes at a studio within our building.
I had limited internet access on the cruise. In the case of interacting with Autumn, it might have been better had I had had none.
As I mentioned in the last chapter, Autumn had recently received a relatively sizable, somewhere around $10,000, in an insurance settlement for the world crashing down on her quite literally at her former apartment. She arrived with what we assumed was most of it. Assumed was the key word. Autumn has this phobia, literally, in addressing financial issues. She evidently didn't so much when she and Dave were married and together and she had to take charge of everything, but independently, she was remiss to attend to finances until a crisis ensued. We were awaiting a sizable check and at that time had far less credit post bankruptcy and asked to borrow a considerable amount, something like $5,000. She gave it to us. It did clear. Evidently, however, she was suddenly broke, or near broke, while we were gone. She used this as a way to attack me in email. How was this my fault? I would have borrowed less money if she needed it. She certainly didn't need $5000 to eat for a week while we were away. Oh, and she was staying at our home, had our car, food in our home, and a credit card from us (albeit back then with a teeny credit limit). She sent emails that she couldn't eat for days. WTF! We had a pantry full of food, a refrigerator with enough and always a freezer of food. She said there was nothing she could eat. Bullshit. She isn't vegan, vegetarian, gluten free, and even then we likely have a few things for her. I said "use the credit card." She was worried they would ask for ID. She was determined to suffer. But then she crossed the ultimate line. I had left money for Rosario. Rosario is not really the housekeeper. She (and her family) are the extended Mexican-American family. Autumn took her money. Hell no! I know that Rosario got it back. Rosario walked a very cautious line with me when I returned, one I admired, knowing this was one of my closest friends, but she was greatly troubled and let me know how this wrong this was and later basically telling me she was one of the biggest bitches she had ever met in her life. She is my Mexican Mother. She didn't just clean our house; she would cook me breakfast if I was in a hurry, meals when either were sick or just too busy; sometimes just for something different. We know her children (two younger, 3 older than myself). She moved away a few years ago, but we still are in touch and very close.
Evidently, while we were away, Autumn had FaceTime with her boys and it left her feeling all the more in despair, guilt ridden and lost. Understood, but laying around starving yourself, blaming others for your inability to check your bank balance and trying to steal money from someone we would literally sacrifice meals for if necessary to keep working for us was no way to garner sympathy or compassion from us. Arguably, she said she wasn't seeking either. I am sure she wasn't seeking the lashing she received from me either. The argument that occurred upon our return from New York and her departure which ended our not speaking for some time thereafter was a low point in our long standing relationship.
I wrote her a check within minutes of my return. The money we were waiting on had arrived, as expected, while we were away. I was not having how we left her without money. I asked her no less than a 10 times if she had enough money and then left her with a small credit card (and she has her own), a car with gas, a home with food and the lights on. We would have borrowed less. I just borrowed what was coming to us because she said was fine. We went through our pantry, pointing out cans of tuna (I think we had at least 6), packages of pasta (probably a dozen of varies varieties), canned vegetables and I don't even remember what else. Likewise things in the freezer. Her reply was something to the effect of "I don't eat any of that" to which my husband responded to me later "tough shit you fucking cunt." He could not wait for her to leave.
I didn't know if Autumn was really going to live in LA. Autumn and I never made that the "plan" concretely. But the idea was for this to be a exploration mission. Could it happen? How would it happen? It wasn't going to happen sunbathing and going to yoga. Perhaps my expectations of what she was to do or not do were too high. But I felt like my husband and I gave her a 2 week opportunity to full access to our car, our home, to run around and explore. She squandered it. Mac and I travel a lot. It's our biggest hobby. We never miss an opportunity to explore.
At some point in this battle, Autumn was yelling into my ear with me at my desk and said something that irked me to a point where I really thought I was about to turn and hit her. It scared me. I am not quick to be violent with anyone. I've never before or after been that angry with her. I stood up and walked away. I very calmly, but obviously noticeably annoyed, told her to get away from me or to leave me alone. She went upstairs to our guest room. Mac had been trying to stay out of this but at that point followed her upstairs. I remember because I heard her scream out "I am taking a shit." He replied "I don't care what you are doing (fucking doing?), you need to be out of here in 24 hours."
On that, we left and went for drinks somewhere.
I never spoke to her again before she left. I have no idea when she left really, how she got to the airport, how she flew home. I remember something about shipping a box and sending back the extremely expensive juicer she bought but I guess couldn't buy fruits and vegetables for so was pointless. I ignored everything prior to her departure, which is not my best act. It actually was a life lesson that has served me since. The overall experience is one that was paved with good intentions and not ever to be repeated. Sometimes you can try to be too helpful and it can only fuel the fire.
She arrived and was so excited by the weather. It was just another day in LA. OK, we are spoiled. Her excitement, though, to me, was that of a teenager, not a parent near 40 years old. She arrived and my hope had been she was going to be looking forward to finally having the opportunity to try and live dreams of finding a way to be a writer, to perhaps become a therapist which is what she studied. But, from the airport to the days to come, every conversation she has with all she encountered, all of which of course, asked "what brought you here?" was answered with "the weather." I do also believe some of this was also nervous energy knowing she was not sure of what she had just done.
Keep in mind, Autumn didn't rescind a passport (CA can seem like another planet and we are the 5th largest economy in the world, but it's still in the US), didn't change a drivers license. In fact, I remember she made sure to have her absentee voter registration come to our address from where she lived without Dave and did not plan to change the address before the election. I think from the moment she booked her plane ticket she had trepidation.
My husband and I were leaving for New York City, then a cruise within a couple days of Autumn's arrival. During the cruise, the Autumn was to help me with my business on some political campaign work I was doing. She did the minimal amount she needed to do, critical of it along the way. In fairness, they were not the most exciting of campaigns, but she also need not be anything but grateful that we had given her a place to say and a hand up. It wasn't a lot of work either. Show up, smile, sign people in, scan sheets and data enter them following. Perhaps I left here a couple other things to do.She was also to start going around, getting a feel for different areas in LA, places she might want to live, work, etc. The plan was never that she was staying with us long-term. Ultimately, she spent most of the 10 days working on her tan and going to yoga classes at a studio within our building.
I had limited internet access on the cruise. In the case of interacting with Autumn, it might have been better had I had had none.
As I mentioned in the last chapter, Autumn had recently received a relatively sizable, somewhere around $10,000, in an insurance settlement for the world crashing down on her quite literally at her former apartment. She arrived with what we assumed was most of it. Assumed was the key word. Autumn has this phobia, literally, in addressing financial issues. She evidently didn't so much when she and Dave were married and together and she had to take charge of everything, but independently, she was remiss to attend to finances until a crisis ensued. We were awaiting a sizable check and at that time had far less credit post bankruptcy and asked to borrow a considerable amount, something like $5,000. She gave it to us. It did clear. Evidently, however, she was suddenly broke, or near broke, while we were gone. She used this as a way to attack me in email. How was this my fault? I would have borrowed less money if she needed it. She certainly didn't need $5000 to eat for a week while we were away. Oh, and she was staying at our home, had our car, food in our home, and a credit card from us (albeit back then with a teeny credit limit). She sent emails that she couldn't eat for days. WTF! We had a pantry full of food, a refrigerator with enough and always a freezer of food. She said there was nothing she could eat. Bullshit. She isn't vegan, vegetarian, gluten free, and even then we likely have a few things for her. I said "use the credit card." She was worried they would ask for ID. She was determined to suffer. But then she crossed the ultimate line. I had left money for Rosario. Rosario is not really the housekeeper. She (and her family) are the extended Mexican-American family. Autumn took her money. Hell no! I know that Rosario got it back. Rosario walked a very cautious line with me when I returned, one I admired, knowing this was one of my closest friends, but she was greatly troubled and let me know how this wrong this was and later basically telling me she was one of the biggest bitches she had ever met in her life. She is my Mexican Mother. She didn't just clean our house; she would cook me breakfast if I was in a hurry, meals when either were sick or just too busy; sometimes just for something different. We know her children (two younger, 3 older than myself). She moved away a few years ago, but we still are in touch and very close.
Evidently, while we were away, Autumn had FaceTime with her boys and it left her feeling all the more in despair, guilt ridden and lost. Understood, but laying around starving yourself, blaming others for your inability to check your bank balance and trying to steal money from someone we would literally sacrifice meals for if necessary to keep working for us was no way to garner sympathy or compassion from us. Arguably, she said she wasn't seeking either. I am sure she wasn't seeking the lashing she received from me either. The argument that occurred upon our return from New York and her departure which ended our not speaking for some time thereafter was a low point in our long standing relationship.
I wrote her a check within minutes of my return. The money we were waiting on had arrived, as expected, while we were away. I was not having how we left her without money. I asked her no less than a 10 times if she had enough money and then left her with a small credit card (and she has her own), a car with gas, a home with food and the lights on. We would have borrowed less. I just borrowed what was coming to us because she said was fine. We went through our pantry, pointing out cans of tuna (I think we had at least 6), packages of pasta (probably a dozen of varies varieties), canned vegetables and I don't even remember what else. Likewise things in the freezer. Her reply was something to the effect of "I don't eat any of that" to which my husband responded to me later "tough shit you fucking cunt." He could not wait for her to leave.
I didn't know if Autumn was really going to live in LA. Autumn and I never made that the "plan" concretely. But the idea was for this to be a exploration mission. Could it happen? How would it happen? It wasn't going to happen sunbathing and going to yoga. Perhaps my expectations of what she was to do or not do were too high. But I felt like my husband and I gave her a 2 week opportunity to full access to our car, our home, to run around and explore. She squandered it. Mac and I travel a lot. It's our biggest hobby. We never miss an opportunity to explore.
At some point in this battle, Autumn was yelling into my ear with me at my desk and said something that irked me to a point where I really thought I was about to turn and hit her. It scared me. I am not quick to be violent with anyone. I've never before or after been that angry with her. I stood up and walked away. I very calmly, but obviously noticeably annoyed, told her to get away from me or to leave me alone. She went upstairs to our guest room. Mac had been trying to stay out of this but at that point followed her upstairs. I remember because I heard her scream out "I am taking a shit." He replied "I don't care what you are doing (fucking doing?), you need to be out of here in 24 hours."
On that, we left and went for drinks somewhere.
I never spoke to her again before she left. I have no idea when she left really, how she got to the airport, how she flew home. I remember something about shipping a box and sending back the extremely expensive juicer she bought but I guess couldn't buy fruits and vegetables for so was pointless. I ignored everything prior to her departure, which is not my best act. It actually was a life lesson that has served me since. The overall experience is one that was paved with good intentions and not ever to be repeated. Sometimes you can try to be too helpful and it can only fuel the fire.
Wow! I'm hooked... it's almost as if I too have my own Autumn in my life... but, don't we all.
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