Robert StGenis Voice empowered

It is always false to judge most anything with "all" as we are individuals and our characters differ for any myriad of reasons. The situations which lead us to our decisions differ as well. But, I want to share some examples, in short form, of relationships I've witnessed, some closer than others, and question why do so many men, at least that I have watched, seem so willing to stay partnered with what they know isn't providing them or their spouse the love and support they each deserve? My Father probably didn't really know how to truly love for a very long time. He was married before my Mother at a young age, having an "oops" baby. My half brother I never knew was alive until I was 8 when he came to live with us at 17. At this point, he was a drug addict and caused great havoc on our household, most often while my Father was away on business and my Mother was left to contend with him, as well as her 3 and 8 year old children. John threw my Mother dow...

Evidently Amanda spent more like 5 days in a mental health facility and the incident largely contributed to her not being granted custody of her children with rather limited visitation. Autumn finally has read my blog. She will be comforted if I again reiterate that this is a story, actually will be a series of stories, based on actual events but not a documentary and entirely factual. It certainly is all from my perception. I wouldn't be able to pick out Amanda in a crowd. I've never even seen a picture of her, let alone met her. It's been over a decade since I've seen Dave. According to Autumn he has aged a lot and is very heavy. Note, according to Autumn. That is all I have to run with, the comments of the hateful ex-wife.  My overall objectives here are looking at various relationships, the trials and tribulations of them. We all learn from each other,  whether things to emulate or that we would never want to copy ourselves. It took Autumn 4 1/2 years after she r...

Contrary to many's belief, dogs are not everyone's best friend. Anymore than everyone loves pizza or hates broccoli. There are cultures that are afraid of dogs. Some people are simply fearful of them. I was unexpectedly bitten by our neighbors little shit dog  when I was about 4 or 5 (I don't remember the breed, it just was small and I am saying this as a memory when I was small)  and it took until I was a teenager before I was again comfortable if a dog suddenly lunged at me. People's background's  and mindset have a lot to do with how they think of dogs as well. Some think they belong out in the wild, running in the fields. Others, think they belong in your purse. There are people who make dogs members of their family, buy them wardrobes, throw them birthday parties. There are others that find this pathetic. This is from the 14th annual New York Pet Fashion Show... While people seem to hype about their allergy to cats more, the reality is ...

It was 107 degrees recently in Downtown Los Angeles. That is excessively hot for us; really should be excessively hot for most anywhere barring Palm Springs, Phoenix and a few other places in the summer. I was coming down the elevator at the athletic club we belong to with a guy who had also just left the locker room. He had a cycle helmet. We had 5 floors to travel, roughly 45 seconds to 1 minute (I know this ride as well as the one in our building at home). I commented "you braved it and decided to ride here" with a approving smile. He replied "It's only a mile and by time I get in the car, out of the car, it's just as sweaty anyway." We were parting the door and I responded "fair enough" and we went our separate ways. Hardly a necessary conversation, but it seemed like a reasonable excuse to initiate one. Again, this was a day of rare record setting heat. I am often complaining that I hardly know anyone at this club and socialization was a large...

I've intentionally been running off of raw memory rather than referencing Autumn for facts to make the story my own recollection from a very long journey I traveled with her from across the country. So, as I have mentioned before, there are things I am forgetting, things probably not quite in the right order, things I am intentionally omitting. Believe it or not there is even more to this seemingly endless divorce saga but she is but one I plan to share and I have friends and family adding to them as I am writing hers! Back to Autumn... I don't recall how Autumn initiated the contact, but she reached out to Amanda's husband, Jerry. They immediately bonded about the surprising number of disenchanting similarities in each of their to be ex spouses and their equal goals for vindication. Jerry had hired a private investigator or was planning to do so. Autumn followed to do so as well. She didn't have the funds, but her Mother and Father and provided them. Autum...

The tension between Autumn and Dave had been percolating to a point of overflow for some time; long before her return. This tension not only was clear in her general demeanor but in phone disputes that were witnessed within her office. Add to this there were some added tensions between her and the direct report which she was having a relationship or affair depending on your perception. Prior to the tree incident and her moving back in with Dave, my husband and I came to visit DC. We were in town for a fundraiser on which I was on the board. Autumn came as a guest at our table which was greatly appreciated. Trying to get guests at a table for a $200 or $250 per person brunch (I don't remember exactly) isn't easy. Doing so 3000 miles from home is all the more challenging. At this brunch I not only learned more about the "boy toy" romance, but that he was a pot dealer on the side and she was dealing weed to high school students in the same high school she wanted her s...

Autumn ended up back with Dave for about 3 1/2 years, a time frame almost inconceivable. It is ridiculous enough when couples falsely try to be a couple but for the vast majority of their time back togetherAutumn was treated as the evil step child; literally. Cinderella needed to find her Prince Charming but she wasn't even able to date while living in the same house.  Dave would buy food and make food for the boys and himself and not share anything with Autumn. Dave and Autumn would argue about who bought coffee for the house, whether it could be shared and bluntly would throw it out on each other rather than share it. Autumn was not making much money most of this time and a portion of it she was going to Georgetown. Commuting almost 100 miles each day didn't help things. Partially at my suggestion, I encouraged her not to give money to Dave but rather to pay for things for the boys directly and leave him to handle the home. In addition, she was paying for her own car, auto ...

Autumn went crying back to Dave. We didn't speak for quite some time so I really don't know what happened in any detail for a while. They faked a marriage for a period on the surface, but Autumn was living in her one son's room. This worked perfectly well for Dave I imagine. I don't think he had any interest in being divorced unless he had someone else to "call his own."  Autumn went and lived with her parents at the beach for a period, waiting on tables. This sounded like it worked OK for the season and a little beyond. In fact, she was a waitress or hostess for a few years having no success finding work in her earlier profession. Dave believed this was her way of not contributing to the family. Autumn cared for her boys and wanted her own success but could care less about caring for the home. She never wanted to live there. One of my first memories the only time I visited was of a press board kitchen cabinet door that was half hanging on to the hinge. I...

I don't think there really is a rule of thumb on elevator etiquette. Probably the one thing most true for most everyone anywhere in the world is that it is, at least, somewhat awkward being in a very tight space with most often total strangers. My husband and I live in Downtown LA and travel a lot to various parts of the world. Whether at our own home, Asia or Europe, we are usually riding in an elevator with strangers. Our condo building elevator operates by key fobs. However, if one person taps their fob, they can press other floors for others. This seems to be known by all in the building. I get on the elevator one evening and this lady jumps on, probably in her late 30's, so definitively an adult who should by now have adult manners and she is so immersed in her phone she taps the elevator, presses her floor and moves to the back never looking up. This is simply rude! Almost everyone asks "what floor?", you tell them, they press it and you say "thank you...

It was fall when Autumn arrived at LAX. Autumn's life was a complete trainwreck now without her job there. She had now worked for the only 2 contractors in her specific field, so prospects were limited. I don't know where/how she could apply them elsewhere. I am sure there were probably some stones upturned. I knew that things with her and Dave were horridly toxic and it wasn't good for her or her children. I knew her side income was something that beyond disturbing and potentially leave her easily divorced, but without her children and in prison, albeit it stopped on it's own with the boy toy break up. I pondered and my husband, with great reservation (he is far more level headed generally) offered to have her come move out to LA; at least try to see if it could work. My theory was quality time with her children could be better than what she had been doing with less than 48 hours back and forth over the last year. Autumn and I talked a bunch of scenarios, but the ultim...

Autumn was left with virtually nothing following the storm. She was able to return to the apartment and recover some clothing and small items, but most everything was destroyed by the wind, rain and the physical impact of the tree and roof collapsing on our home. The whole situation seemed surreal to me, but Autumn's life seems to take many surreal turns. Autumn wasn't sure where to she was to live. Her apartment was actually a condominium and while the owner was, of course, going to get the place repaired, it could take months. It didn't seem the owner offered to do anything to help Autumn in the interim and I guess their lease didn't have any provisions requiring the owner to do so. She tried to crash for the short term on a couch of a friend and his wife, but she didn't buy into the idea. One night she slept under her desk at work, being discovered the next day. She dismisses this as not significant. I don't buy it. Add that she was carrying on a relation...

Autumn had worked as a government contractor for the same firm for roughly a decade. She had been able to work from home for most of this time, making it very plausible to maintain the position some 40 plus miles away in one of the nation's heaviest traffic regions and to give birth and raise her 2 begin raising her 2 boys. However, Autumn never really wanted to move this far away from her office. She didn't want to move far away from being "inside the beltway," not because of political ambitions, but just it was what she had grown to be comfortable with in the region and felt it best for her and her family overall. It was Dave that decided to move them further out. Ironically, Dave was also born and raised inside the beltway and his large family is mostly still there with whom he maintains regular contact. Autumn reluctantly moved after the birth of their first son for Dave. Autumn secured her work from home assignment mostly for Dave. Autumn sat without any advanc...

I have 3 female friends and family members presently going through or recently have been through a divorce. I want to share some of their stories. I am not using real names so they remain apart of my life and I don't potentially harm their children. First off, the divorce of Autumn... Autumn and I have been friends since high school. I don't really recall how she came to join our group that day, but she joined us on a day trip to an amusement park. It's the 80's, so 6 of us load up in my Oldsmobile and jump on the NJ Turnpike and are off to Great Adventure, all 14-17 years old. Our parents didn't have GPS tracking from the smartphones we didn't have and no adult chaperone. They just assumed we'd find our way home by around 11 pm that evening, two hours after the park closed. In this case, I don't recall our really doing anything that stood out in our activities, but I was new to the school, having transferred to public school from a private school in...

I've come to realize again and again as an adult that this is simply not true. In my opinion, in general, men, at least those I know around my age, find it harder to fall in love, tend to be more afraid of commitment, but then lock themselves in and are not quick to leave an empty marriage.  This doesn't mean they won't cheat, but they are more secure with the life they know the world unknown. Women have historically felt a need to succumb to pressures to appease societal expectations, first and foremost those of family waiting for the wedding, the children, the home, etc. Men do face some of this pressure, but not nearly to the same extent and in most cases, men can more easily suppress such family pressure and in today's world, their friend's and workplace are not as likely to be questioning or pressuring their "family values."  I do believe, in general, women are more prone to want to be in relationships and have a family and while much more committed...

My Grandmother (Nana) I think really was ready and enjoyed her retirement. She became a single Mother when my Grandfather died in the 1950's and she spent over 20 years working at Macy's. She liked to read, needlepoint, and had spent much of her life alone. She loved time with her Grandchildren and maybe her children (I'd say she wanted to more than often the reality), but she was fiercely independent and didn't need someone with her at the dinner table or even when she traveled. She was bringing herself down to meet us at our place in Bethany Beach, Delaware from New Jersey on her own in her 70's. Short of her, I don't recall anyone that really seem happy retired. No matter their financial situation, they are always fearful they will run out of money. I've seen this with people with literally millions in the bank and an income to more than cover every expense. From my Grandparents to Aunt and Uncle and many others,  all wait until retirement to take these...

We have always been quite charitable. We certainly know others who are all the more giving of their time and funds. We know many others who are far less generous. It is always interesting to see what draws people to various causes. I don't believe one does anything without a selfish motivation. This isn't a bad thing. We need a motivator. It can be something that provides solace, something that provides vindication, a simple sense of giving back, but we need a reason to decide to commit to the mission of the organization. The idea that we do things totally selflessly is really bullshit at the end of the day. Far less effort would be put into development, which is the hardest part of any non-profit, if that were the case. The amount of funds we give to various causes depends on how well we are doing financially and other goals. It doesn't really have a precise formula. My husband feels a bit more need to be giving than I do when the coffers aren't as full. He seems to ...

I've always found cleaning out closets, donating items from clothes to furniture and everything and anything else quite therapeutic. There is that sense of giving, of helping others. There is sometimes a sense of literally taking weight off your shoulders; just too much clutter and cleaning through things, straightening them out brings a greater sense of order. There is, if I am completely honest, also a sense of pride in knowing I can part with things, I can get others. Our upcoming move is giving me an opportunity to once again "clean house" perhaps more than the last 2 moves. For one, my agenda isn't as overloaded work wise. This is beginning to cause financial anxiety, but that is a different topic for a different blog (or blogs). While where we are moving is almost as large is here, the layout is different and  overall more usable. We have also been dragging things from the last 2 moves that were never meant to be here and we intentionally bought furniture f...

Roughly 15 minutes after my call with the manager, she called again. I could immediately tell from her tone it was not nearly as conciliatory. She was unaware that I had only paid 7 days of rent and was quite annoyed by it. I explained the basis and that I had full intention of paying all of the rent once we had spoken and had a resolution not only on my request but our future in the building. She made comments about how I just didn't seem happy in the building and they really wanted happy tenants. Is that a requirement? Is it in the lease and I missed it? Is it discriminatory to not allow unhappy tenants? How does one quantify happy tenants? The manager told me the "ownership" was now aware and this wasn't going to help me. I was going to really have to plea my case. Then, she said my rent would go up, which I immediately protested and said there was no market justification for it (in fact, really the rent could arguably go down given everything I have seen recent...

I am not sure this is the appropriate title for this topic. It is attention grabbing though, isn't it? Hey, it's a blog, not the submission of a screenplay or novel, or is it? I am kidding. Well, maybe someday I will live up to my "full potential" and education as a writer, but it won't be the story of conflict with a landlord. I've got far better one's in my history... The Monday following my less than my cordial exchange with the counsel representing our building, I went to the management office and asked "so, you want us out of here?" The reply I received was "I don't know. I just got here and haven't checked my email." She told me I needed to speak to the manager, who I found out a day later was a returning manager after they fired the manager I had talked to originally during my heating issue. The manager, however, was out sick and not going to be in until Tuesday. I asked her to let her know I wanted to speak to her. I a...

The heat was finally fixed on Thursday evening. Evidently, not only was the boiler for our part of the building a problem, but also the starter for our unit. So 4, going onto 5 days, without heat during one of the few weeks of the year we really needed heat in LA. We finally were given a space heater on Wednesday evening, after my more demanding email and a phone call which didn't mask my agitation. I was sent an email Friday morning asking to confirm if the heat had been fixed. I replied that the heat is working, it was out for 4 days and what accommodation was going to be made for that? In response, the management company turned it over to their attorney who responded Friday evening with: I represent your Landlord... and your file has been referred to me.  As you have been made aware the main boiler... for the heat went out and the Landlord as quickly as possible replaced the boiler at great expense in an extremely timely manner.  After the boiler was replaced your ...

We returned home from the Democratic Convention on February 25, 2018 from San Diego. It had been quite cold by Southern California standards. We had turned off the heat while we were away. We turned on the heat as soon as we came home. It turned on and the place heated up overall. Our rather large, post industrial unit has a seemingly powerful heating and air conditioning system, however they are not evenly dispersed so I can be at my couch and literally hot with the heat pouring down at me and chilly at my desk across the room. But, we were quickly able to get the place to what we knew as normal. Monday morning, however, it was cold. I turned up the thermostat and it was not turning on. I changed batteries on thermostat; it didn't do anything. I went down to the office and told them off my problem. The lady at the desk, who is always so friendly first commented about whether my last request from weeks ago had been resolved. I told her it was (and had responded in email it was ha...