Living in The Weeds

I used to serve on Victory Campaign Board of Victory Fund. The Victory Fund is much like Emily's List with it's objective being in increasing the presence of openly LGBTQ elected officials at all levels of government throughout the US. Now, they, or at least their nonprofit institute, is reaching beyond the US, at least at training people to run for office. It was taking their Campaign & Candidate training, which was some of the more memorable, intense 3 days of training I may have ever taken, that not only brought me into the Victory Fund, but also led me to leave my career in Real Estate and become a political consultant, starting as a Campaign Manager for a state assembly candidate who was a Mayor of a Southern California town and on my team in the training. I still maintain friendships from my time with the organization and may well get involved again at some juncture. It is a commitment, but it always proved to be rewarding.
I think it was the first year I was serving on the board, my husband and I decided to fly to DC for the annual National brunch, which occurs almost always around my birthday in early April. In an effort to meet my annual give/get, not only did we buy our tickets, but I threw out an appeal to see if I could get others around DC to join a table. This was ambitious. I had moved to LA from DC, but some almost 20 years earlier at that point. I had friends I knew from childhood growing up in either Michigan or New Jersey who had settled around DC, but they were all straight, married with children and no real reason to support the Victory Fund. But, why not try? To my surprise, a colleague I went to my last 2 years of high school with and I don't think had ever seen since and his wife did attend. This was all from a Facebook post. This was not a small commitment. The tickets were either $200 or $250 each. Unfortunately, other friends, whom I knew much better, were not able to attend but the whole idea was a long shot to me from the beginning.
Then, there was Lizzie. She also bought a ticket. Being one of my closest friends I was more hopeful, but she was historically always broke as well. However, this trip she seemed to be quite a bit more flush with cash and, I quickly noticed in the weekend, literally cash. Shortly before the brunch, she tells me she needs to go somewhere and talk to me alone. I ask for it to wait as I have guests arriving I hardly know, I am on the board, etc. Nope, it had to be now. So we run down Connecticut Avenue from the Washington Hilton to the one bar we find open. It is probably only 10:30 AM. We quickly order 2 Bloody Mary's, or at least I had a Bloody Mary and she had something else, and she announces that she is a pot dealer laughing hysterically. "I am living real life Weeds." I didn't quite get it at first, even though I used to love the show. Then, I suddenly realize behind the laughter what she means. I am stunned and not sure what to say. I proceed to ask something along the lines of "how, when, where...?" She explains that this guy Joey, a young guy about 20+ years younger than her who also reports to her in her full-time position is a dealer and now she is working under him on the side; something along those lines. I was in a bit of trance through the entire conversation so I think I was subconsciously not absorbing details. Where I ended the conversation is when she began to explain that most of her "clients" were local high school students in her upscale suburban DC neighborhood. I could not comprehend. She has 2 boys, both of which were nearing high school at that point. I asked her how she could justify selling to kids and she said "well it's not like they aren't going to get it anyway." I just could not comprehend such lack of ethics or morality. To this day, I really want to believe she was simply lying to me.
We went to the brunch. She insisted I sit next to her, even though I had these other guests I felt warranted my attention all the more. After all, they had really gone all out and I was seeing them at this brunch. I was seeing her the whole weekend, or at least that was the plan. I did as requested, but did have to get up frequently to speak to others, did have to introduce people to all of the guests at my table, and made a point to spend some time talking with my other friend and his wife who were my guests. After pouting for a bit, Lizzie abruptly got up and literally stormed out of the ballroom of the Washington Hilton. This was not only noticeable at my table, half the people at it being individuals I had just met that morning, but to enough of the room of several hundred that a few asked me (which I imagine means many more wanted to) what happened following. I told the masses that she became suddenly ill and her dramatic exit was likely to ensure there wasn't a dramatic incident. My friend, who also went to high school with her, witnessed more and I simply said to him "sorry about that" and he replied "she was always an odd one."
My friends ended up with a couple silent auction items as well, one being a group portrait. They said they really were due a good family photo. They have 2 daughters. I am not sure if they ever had it taken before they moved or split up. I can't remember the exact time frames, but within a year or so of the brunch, they moved from Montgomery County, Maryland to Virginia Beach, where, if I recall, she inherited a home. Prior to, or right thereafter it seems, they divorced, but in either event, he followed. I wouldn't even know this much of their story if it were not for Facebook. I can attribute my whole adult relationship with them to the platform.
I don't recall how long Lizzie did what she did, exactly how it ended other than Joey moving has some part to do with it. I know it is long over and I have spent years just trying to act as if I never knew anything. I really didn't know much.  I was never in a position to do anything, nor would I have wanted to in many ways. It is just an inconceivable situation I wish had never encountered.


This pot dealing Mom. Andrea Sanderlin, coined the Scarsdale Pot Princess, who I had literally not heard of until writing this post and then updating it now, in that photo, has some similarities to the friend I describe. I don't think she had anything near a "ring" and she is not a great believer in religion at all, but I am adding this as it struck me. Also Scarsdale isn't so different from where she and I grew up together in New Jersey nor where she did or I still want to think she she was just "pulling my leg" doing in Montgomery County, Maryland.

Pot dealing Princess now a devout Christian